


Snickers and Chuckles

by Miss14



Series: Roommates [1]
Category: All Elite Wrestling, Being The Elite (Web Series), Professional Wrestling
Genre: Candy, Halloween, trick or treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 06:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21248597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss14/pseuds/Miss14
Summary: Join roommates Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy as they hand out Halloween candy to trick or treaters.





	Snickers and Chuckles

**Author's Note:**

> First off: There aren't enough works about these two. Please someone help me out here and start writing them. Please!  
Now that that's out of the way I guess I should introduce my story. I whipped this up while watching AEW tonight and I should already be in bed. I have to be up in a couple hours for work. I hope you enjoy my story about Chuck Taylor and Orange handing out Halloween candy, I really do.  
Man, I haven't been actively writing for years now. Please PLEASE if there are any of you out there who would like to offer any critiques I welcome them.  
Enjoy!

“Why tho?” Orange Cassidy lounges against the front door head hanging loosely to one side, watching his friend dump bag after bag after unending bag of sugar-laden Halloween candy into an enormous bowl. The question falls lazily from his lips while Chuck uses both hands to shuffle around all the treats, plastic crinkling obnoxiously as he does. Orange is content observing, hands permanently at home inside his pockets.

“Already askin’ the deep questions!” It’s merely a two-word question but Chuck immediately comprehends what Orange is asking. He always does somehow, even through all the short statements and one-syllable answers he receives. Orange’s slight manner of verbalizing never bothers Chuck too much since translation comes remarkably easily between the two, so to ask _ “Why tho?” _ in such a seemingly rude, short manner is no bother. Chuck instantly understands the deeper meaning without Orange needing to verbalize further. He can’t help but grin as a transcript read in Orange’s voice runs through his head. _ “Why so much candy? Why? You know it’s too much. You literally spent like a hundred bucks on all this didn’t you dude? What the hell? There’s gonna be so many leftovers! How many fuckin kids do you think are gonna trick or treat in our neighborhood? C’mon! Put it up when you’re done I don’t want the dog getting into it in the middle of the night and getting sick. There’s no way I’m helping you eat all this candy. Well, maybe some...but you don’t need to get so much next year! I fuckin’ know you’re going to stay up til three AM eating candy and drinking beer in your underwear and then pass out on the couch! Don’t make a mess! You better not leave wrappers all over the floor cuz I ain’t picking them shits up!” _

“It’s for the chirren!” Chuck shoots his friend a quick glance, still hand mixing assorted fun size candies. “They need candy, bitch! Don’t sit there on your high horse like you’re not going to eat some of it! I know you love you some chocolate goodness!” A fun-sized Snickers wrapper goes flying as Chuck makes a show of shoving a treat in his mouth and chomping on it obnoxiously.

“Whatever.” Is all Orange rewards him with, pushing off the door and strolling slowly towards the kitchen, both hands still wrist deep in his pockets. “Beer?”

“Yeah.” Several more twists and turns of his hands and Chuck is finally pleased with how his literal fuckton of candy is mixed. “Yain’t gonna wear a costume? Thought we were gonna scare kids!” Chuck grabs the can of PBR Orange offers and gulps down several giant drinks while looking his friend up and down accusingly. 

“I’m Orange Cassidy.” Orange sluggishly motions at the ring gear he’s clad in, capping it off with his trademark apathetic thumbs up. 

Chuck scoffs loudly, following up his verbalized scorn with a long belch. “What a lazy bitch. Very on-brand. I’m real proud.” Chuck offers his own version of a half-hearted thumbs up in return while polishing off his beer.

“Whatever.”

Again, Chuck gets it. Without additional words it clicks in his head what explanation Orange is attempting to convey. _ “Leave me alone asshole. I don’t even like Halloween that much! I’m only doing this for you because I know how much you loved trick or treating when you were a kid. And why you have such a boner for costumes I’ll never understand but whatever. Do you know how busy I’ve been lately? I’m only home for two days this week and then I have to travel again. Your ass has been at home more than I have! So sorry if I didn’t have time to go out and get a scary-ass Halloween mask so I could dress up with you. Lay off! I don’t want to scare kids anyway! I swear you get a big dick when kids are terrified. I think there’s something wrong with you, dude.” _

“Gotta get my Werewolf mask, kids are gonna be here soon!” Chuck sprints towards his bedroom with the gusto of a child who’s eaten too much candy, much to Orange’s amusement. His friend’s exuberant energy never failed to captivate him. The few quiet moments Chuck’s gone Orange fills with sips of beer and a couple packs of Starbursts he chews slowly, savoring them. The comfort of candy’s sugary sweet nostalgic goodness and the beer he’s polished off helps Orange to relax, memories of being a child on Halloween playing like a movie in his mind while he chews. 

Gentle tapping on the front door breaks the lone silence, muffled, unharmonized chants of “Trick or Treat” coming from the other side. Orange is internally grateful Chuck isn’t here to frighten their inaugural group of candy hunters, though he’d never dare tell him so. Overflowing bowl of treats in hand Orange gently cracks the door open, being mindful to make as little noise as possible so Chuck isn’t alerted to their presence. 

“TRICK OR TREAT!” A group of four children completely blow Oranges’s efforts at keeping their arrival on the low, but he can’t fault them. Each one is dressed to the nines in assorted costumes and Orange can’t help but break character briefly to crack a smile. 

“Sup?” Chuck’s overload of candy gets eyed ferociously as Orange pushes it out the doorway, offering this first gathering of kids their pick of Candy. “Got too much. Take two or three. Whatever.” Orange watches each child carefully pick out several pieces of candy, nodding when the little Storm Trooper asks if he can take one more treat. “Sure kid. Who cares.” The decision must be excruciating as he takes forever. “Take a Twizzler. That’s what I’d do.” Orange offers. Chuck’s heavy footsteps down the hallway alert Orange so he quickly bids farewell to the first group, shutting the door so they’re safe from Chuck’s imminent torment. 

“AW FUCK YOU! Did I miss the fist kids? Asshole! I wanted to scare the bejesus out of em! Why didn’tcha tell me?” Chuck’s muffled protest from under a horrendously hideous wolf mask would have been much funnier if Orange wasn’t certain his full, unabashed intention was to make every child piss their pants in fear. “C’mon.” Chuck throws his mask off, disgusted and somehow out of breath as he yanks the candy bowl from Orange’s hands. “Candy’ll make it better.”

“Whatever.”

_ “Why you want to mess with those kids anyway? Leave them be. They just want candy and we have a shitload. They’re all getting extra by the way, just so we can get rid of it. What’s so great about scaring them? You don’t even need a mask, dude. Your Chuck Taylor mask is scary enough as it is. Don’t worry, there’ll be more kids. You can scare a few of them, I promise. Just don’t be too scary!” _Orange’s expanded clarification rolls through Chuck’s brain while he’s busy shoving candy after candy into his mouth. 

“Yeah, I know.” Chuck sighs heavily and retrieves his mask, sitting it near the doorway in preparation. Another group of kids loudly stomping towards their door perks him up instantly, some candy sloshing from the bowl as he leaps to his feet. 

“Not yet.” Orange requests, kicking Chuck’s mask to the side. 

Chuck twists and contorts his face in disgust at Orange as kids pick through their treat offerings. Orange merely elbows his friend’s ribs and retreats kitchenward for a couple fresh beers. Alone with the children, Chuck finds it extremely strenuous to resist grabbing his mask, but somehow he manages. “Didn’t scare em, you proud of me or what?” 

“Sure.” Orange offers a feeble smile while cracking open two more cans. He decides as they continue to dish out candy Skittles don’t taste as good washed down with PBR but Reeses are an ok match, treats with caramel being the best combination. Swallowing down beer and gorging on candy in his roommate’s company is decidedly domestic, as most things between the two have become these last few years. It’s a strange form of solace Orange feels shared between them as the night passes on, warmth and comfort at the forefront as they hand out sweets to the neighborhood kids that frequent their door. 

Groups both small and large come and go from the porch of their apartment, Orange choosing to observe quietly while Chuck comments on nearly every child’s Halloween costume choice, mainly offering nothing but insults.

“Power Ranger?” Lame! They even still make that show?”

“Buzz Lightyear? BUZZ OFF!” 

“John Cena? Get outta here! I oughta five knuckle shuffle you right off my porch!”

“Princess? Not in my castle lil girl!” 

“Batman? That’s weak! Try harder next year junior!”

“Elsa? What ELSA you got cuz that sucks!”

“A pirate? ARRRR you kidding?”

Orange laughs but still shakes his head in disdain, unsure of just where exactly Chuck’s hatred for small children stems from. 

“Slow down.” Orange pulls the slightly less full candy bowl from Chuck’s grip, taking over treat giving duties as he pushes his friend aside. 

_ “Man those kids are gonna feel like shit when they get home you know that? You’re making fun of their costumes too much! They’re dressed up like characters they love, why you gotta dump on them? You really need to see a therapist and figure out why you hate children. Seriously dude.” _ Chuck knows Orange is right so he backs off, distracted anyway when Walter finally decides to join them. 

“There’s my boy! Where have you been? Sleeping? Didn’t you want to help us hand out candy? You’re probably wondering why all these strange people keep coming to our door, don’t you? You’re just so cute! We gotta go get you your costume, don’t we? Yes we do!” 

Baby talking the dog constantly is one thing Chuck does that nearly makes Orange sick to his stomach and the gut full of brewskis and chocolate isn’t helping tonight. “Costume?” Orange asks, glaring at Chuck. 

Chuck’s busy dashing back to his bedroom with Walter under his arm as Orange’s voice rings through him. _ “A costume? For the dog? Seriously? You’re THAT dude now? Who even are you? It better not be stupid. I swear to god if you come back out here with Walter dressed in some kind of dumb assed outfit I’m going to lose my shit, man.” _ Chuck completely ignores Orange’s unsaid warning and after multiple attempts through wriggling and barks he gets Walter’s costume on. 

“He’s a hot dog! On account of him bein so handsome all the time! Look! LOOK!” Chuck sets Walter down between himself and Orange on the entryway rug, the dog immediately chewing away at the bun of his costume. “He’s such a good boy!”

“Whatever.”

“_ I hate you so much right now. He doesn’t like it. I know he doesn’t. Look at him! He looks ridiculous! Take that thing off.” _

“He loves it!” Chuck watches Walter grunt and turn in circles, chasing around the back of his costume. 

“Nope.”

_ “If you don’t take that godawful thing off our dog right now I’m going to smother you in your sleep tonight.” _

Walter growls, tugging a mouthful of costume off and spitting it out at Chuck’s feet. “Lame. I know he loves it. He can wear it for an hour. Then I’ll take it off. Deal?”

“Whatever.”

_ “I’m going to take it off him as soon as you’re not looking.” _

More children racing towards the door breaks up their domestic squabble about Walter, Chuck watching a youngster dressed like Dracula take his sweet time picking which candy should be added to his plastic pumpkin. “Here kid just take a bunch.” Chuck reaches in, grabbing a huge fistful and dumping it in with his night’s collections. 

“Thanks, Mister!” The kid looks up at Chuck with love in his eyes, the generosity shown clearly warming his heart. 

“Yeah, now get the hell outta here! You make me sick kid! Scram! Beat it! Hit the bricks!” 

“Screw you old man! You stink!” Dracula sticks his tongue out and kicks Chuck’s shin before racing off, turning only long enough to flip a middle finger up before running away for good. 

“WHY YOU LITTLE JERKOFF I’M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND I’M GONNA COME OVER AND FUCK YOUR MOM AND YOUR DAD WHILE YOU’RE SLEEPING TONIGHT!” Chuck rubs at his shin with one hand, vigorously shaking the candy bowl the boy’s direction with is other. “Did you see that? What a little bitch! Orange? How come you don’t have my back, man?” 

Chuck turns to find Orange doubled over from laughter, unable to answer. A finger to signal ‘hold on” is all he can muster. 

“Whatever, next group of kids is getting scared. I’ve waited long enough. That was the last straw.” Chuck stomps off on a mission to the kitchen for more beers as Orange does his best to recover from the laughing fit he’s currently stricken with. By the time Chuck returns Orange is nearly through, face flushed redder than usual as he tries to catch his breath. 

“That’s why you don’t insult the kids.”

_ “See! I told you not to fuck with them! Holy shit that was golden! He got you! Old man! Hah! That’s the funniest shit I’ve ever seen! Dude, you do realize you told him you’d fuck his Mom and Dad, right?” _

“Fuck you, shut up!” Is all Chuck can squeak out, popping open yet another PBR and chugging it as he squats alongside the doorway, mask at the ready. “You give me away you’re dead to me.” Orange rolls his eyes at Chuck’s warning, peering down at his friend as he struggles to tug the mask back over his big head.

“Fine.”

_ “Okay, one. JUST ONE GROUP OF KIDS! That’s all you get. You can scare this one to indulge yourself and then I’m taking that mask and tossing it outside. You’re so mean. These poor kids. Sometimes I hate you, you know that?” _

“TRICK OR TREAT!” Six children congregate shoulder to shoulder in the doorway, the sound of candy wrappers rustling as they pick out several pieces each to take with them. All Orange can hear is Chuck’s heavy, half-drunk breaths of anticipation as he sits waiting for just the right moment to pounce. As the kids are saying soft ‘thank yous’ and smiling up at Orange he taps Chuck’s thigh with the toe of his shoe, signaling him. 

“HEY YOU ROTTEN KIDS WHAT ARE YOU DOING! RARRRGHH! I’M GONNA EAT ALL YOUR ASSES ALIVE AND STEAL YOUR CANDY! BBBLLLLLAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!” Chuck races out the door after the screaming group of children, all of whom are running in terror surely fearing for their lives. Chuck makes it a little more than halfway down the block, screaming obscenities and making nonsensical gunts at the kids before he’s winded and decides to turn back. Orange stands leaning against the doorframe, half ashamed as he shakes his head, half delighted as he laughs at his friend’s antics. 

“That...was...awesome.” Orange yanks the gruesome mask off his friend’s head while frowning disapprovingly, sure that this is probably a good point at which to call it a night.

“Wanna sit?”

_ “Hey man, trick or treat hours are almost over anyway, let’s just leave half of what’s left of your candy on the porch in a smaller bowl and watch tv? Want another beer? We should probably take the dog out to shit. I’m hungry. Want a sandwich? How are you that winded just running up the street?” _

“Yeah...yeah.” Chuck follows Orange as he leads the way, silent as he watches his roommate take the dog outside on the deck, come back in to make a plate of sandwiches for them both, and grab several more beers. Orange shoves everything at Chuck and nods towards their living room, patting his butt hard to send him on his way and let him know he’ll join him soon. Once the dog’s done his business and there’s candy out on the porch for stragglers Orange joins his friend on the couch, reruns of Treehouse of Horror playing on television. 

“Hah. This is a good one. Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” Chuck recites the lines along with the television as he nudges Orange’s arm, laughing between mouthfuls of sandwich. The two men eat and drink together quietly, Chuck moving the dirty plate and empty beer cans to the floor once they’re finished, making space to stretch his long legs out. Orange lifts his hands up when Chuck stretches, making a spot for his friend’s feet on his lap without even so much as a thought. 

“Hey man? What’s the best Halloween candy?” Chuck poses an impossible question while digging through the remaining treats, trying to find a piece of something he hasn’t had yet tonight. 

“Starbursts?”

Chuck frowns. “Lame-o”

“Not Skittles. Gross. Um, Reeses, I guess? But only the shapes. Pumpkins. Not Pieces. Ugh.”

“Yeah. But stereotypical. What else?”

“I don’t know.” Orange finally decides. “Too many good ones.”

Chuck comes to the conclusion he can’t pick just one either, instead grabbing random candies and throwing them at his friend. “Sugar babies?”

Orange catches the treat thrown his way and rips it open. “Yeah. Good.”

“Gross. You are a Sugar Baby.”

“Huh?”

“Nothin.” More candies fly Orange’s way, all of which he collects in a pile for later as he gives his critiques. 

“Snickers?”

“Nah.”

“WHAT? Ok fine, we’ll agree to disagree.” Chuck huffs. “Payday?”

“Too many nuts.”

“Heh, nuts. Almond Joy?”

“Good.”

“Red vines?”

“Yeah.”

“Chuckles?”

“Yeah, good and chewy.”

“Candy corn?”

“Good.” Orange knows where Chuck stands on the candy corn debate and is prepared for the angry tirade surely coming his way.

“WHATTHEFUCK? YOU SUCK! CANDY CORN IS THE DEVIL! YOU SICK FUCKER I OUGHTA…” Chuck’s still mid-rant when Orange slides his feet from their resting spot in his lap. 

“Whatever. Going to bed.” Is all Orange offers as he slowly ascends the stairs to his room.

“...HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT, BITCH. IT’S NASTY SHIT!”

Orange wakes early the next morning to find beer cans and candy wrappers strewn across their living room floor, Chuck stripped down to his underwear on the couch sound asleep. “Fuck.” Orange curses softly, collecting beer cans and sweeping up candy wrappers before making his way to the kitchen to make coffee. He clips Walter’s leash on and heads out the front door so he can do his morning routine. Orange is still half asleep while he waits for the dog to finish and kicks the empty candy bowl from last night, having completely forgotten about it. He picks it up and finds a note in it, “Thank you for the candy!” hastily scrawled out in sharpie marker on the back of a Wawa receipt. Orange smiles as he heads inside with Walter, making a mental note to take Halloween off again next year. 


End file.
